Southern Women

My favorite television show of all time is Designing Women. A friend’s Facebook post early this evening got me thinking about how much I miss this show (must get it on DVD). I just love honest southern women. My favorite episode of all time was Bernice’s Sanity Hearing. All southerners know we all have eccentrics in our families. Here is a conversation between Julia and Bernice’s niece Phyllis:

Julia: And just for the record, I think you should know, even if Bernice were crazy, that doesn't necessarily mean she should be put away.
Phyllis: What are you saying?
Julia: I'm saying this is the South. And we're proud of our crazy people. We don't hide them up in the attic. We bring 'em right down to the living room and show 'em off. See, Phyllis, no one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on.
Phyllis: Oh? And which side are yours on Mrs. Sugarbaker?
Julia: Both.

For more fun here are more of my favorite quotes from these fabulous ladies:

Vacation w/Mother:

Julia: I guess I'm excited about seeing Mother again, visiting a totally new country. Of course, seeing Japan with Mother will be seeing the real Japan.
Suzanne: Julia, I am just here to visit Mother and pick up a car. I do not want to have any cultural experiences. As for seeing the "real" Japan, I've noticed that whenever people start talking about seeing the "real" anything, what they're talking about, basically, is hanging around with poor people. Now, I say I don't hang around with poor people at home, why should I do it on vacation?

Honoring Suzanne:
Julia: Excuse me, aren't you Marjorie Leigh Winnick, the current Miss Georgia World?
Marjorie: Why, yes I am.
Julia: I'm Julia Sugarbaker, Suzanne Sugarbaker's sister. I couldn't help over hearing part of your conversation.
Marjorie: Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was here.
Julia: Yes, and I gather from your comments there are a couple of other things you don't know, Marjorie. For example, you probably didn't know that Suzanne was the only contestant in Georgia pageant history to sweep every category except congeniality, and that is not something the women in my family aspire to anyway. Or that when she walked down the runway in her swimsuit, five contestants quit on the spot. Or that when she emerged from the isolation booth to answer the question, "What would you do to prevent war?" she spoke so eloquently of patriotism, battlefields and diamond tiaras, grown men wept. And you probably didn't know, Marjorie, that Suzanne was not just any Miss Georgia, she was the Miss Georgia. She didn't twirl just a baton, that baton was on fire. And when she threw that baton into the air, it flew higher, further, faster than any baton has ever flown before, hitting a transformer and showering the darkened arena with sparks! And when it finally did come down, Marjorie, my sister caught that baton, and 12,000 people jumped to their feet for sixteen and one-half minutes of uninterrupted thunderous ovation, as flames illuminated her tear-stained face! And that, Marjorie - just so you will know - and your children will someday know - is the night the lights went out in Georgia!


Sugar, Sugar, Sugar:

Suzanne: No offense, Julia, but if this Libby person is as bad as you say, you are way out of your league. I know these kind of women. They'll kiss you and call you honey and slop sugar all over you while all the time they're just thinking about themselves. I mean, that terminator stuff doesn't work with them. You gotta fight sugar with sugar. They'll find that's a job for professionals.

The Keg Party
Charlene: Where the heck are you?
Julia: If you must know, Charlene, I'm at a keg party.
Charlene: Julia! I can't imagine you at a keg party! I mean . . . y'know, you have so much class.
Julia: That's just the point, Charlene. If you have class, you have it. It doesn't matter where you are or who you're with . . . and I have to go now because Craig is getting ready to drink out of the funnel.

Breastfeeding:
Suzanne: Oh, Charlene, that reminds me. I saw two things on TV I gotta tell you about. Now first one is, there was a segment on the news about that league of breast feeding people you like so much, you know, La Leaky.
Charlene: Suzanne, it's La Leche.
Suzanne: Oh, well. Whatever.

More Wisdom from Suzanne:
Suzanne: Well, I don't know why Charlene insists on nursing this baby. It's like some kind of epidemic. Everywhere I go, anytime of the day or night, I see all these women whipping themselves out and acting like public fillin' stations. I mean, they act like just cause there's a baby attached, it's not a breast anymore. Could you see me unleashing one of these outdoors? All hell would break loose.